Covid Re-entry Anxiety & Stress - and why we need Liminal Space
My client Amy* recently told me that when she went to the doctor for an annual check-up, her blood pressure was elevated despite having no underlying medical conditions. It was due to stress and anxiety!
Even before we were all living through the Covid-19 pandemic, I heard a lot from clients feeling stressed out by their harried routines, either at work or at home - and more often, both. Many clients of ours have ambitious careers and invest a lot of time into their work. Like you, everyone has demands at home:
caring for children
caring for a dog or cat or plants or fish (or whatever critter your kid wore you down for)
being attentive to a spouse/partner or to aging parents - or both
simply taking care of yourself and your home space
And no matter how busy a day is, we still need to figure out what to eat for dinner. It can be a lot.
During the pandemic, all of these demands have been amplified for many people due to increased tasks for some and an overall increase in anxiety for all of us. In addition, we have suffered from a disruption of the routines we had come to rely on to provide some boundaries between one task and another, or one role and another. Many of us haven’t had the space we used to have to shift between tasks and roles, and that has taken a toll. For those of you reading this who spent much of the past year working at home while your school-aged children were schooling from home - I feel your pain. And now there is new post-Covid re-entry anxiety to deal with!
I was thinking about this when my client Amy mentioned that “Mondays are hard” for her because of the abrupt shift she experiences from being in “home mode” all weekend to entering into “work mode” but without any time for a physical transition.
“It’s a mental commute,” she said, describing what happens between the weekend and the work-from-home weekday.
“Yes, that is a big transition,” I responded, “from the weekend to the workweek.”
Amy appreciated that acknowledgement. She replied with relief, “I just thought I was being too sensitive.”
Not at all. Transitions are hard for our body, mind and spirit. And right now, as we move through this pandemic, we are making up the transition as we go along. We need a way to cope with this re-entry anxiety. We need a threshold in our lives between what has been and what is to come.
As the Covid-19 vaccines become more available and we shift from being at home to entering into the world again, it’s like we are living in a months-long Monday. We are moving from “Covid mode” to “Re-entry mode” and that is hard. There are abrupt changes coming, and also a lot of uncertainty about the months to come. Can we have the family reunions this summer that we yearn for? Will children return to school full time in the fall? When and how do we return to our offices?
We Need Our Mental Commute
When we move from one physical space and role to another, we are shifting - commuting - from one mood state to another and one experience to another, multiple times a day!
Before Covid, we had our commute as one of those important transitional spaces between work and home. But now in the pandemic we haven’t had those deliberate times of transition. As Amy talked about how hard Mondays can be for her - and I thought about how hard this re-entry after Covid can be right now - it reminded me of a concept called “liminal space.” So, even if the in-between places are simply states of mind in our head, from work to relaxation, for example, we still need them.
These in-between places are called “liminal space.”
Liminal Space
Liminal space is a phrase that I don’t hear people talk about very often, but I think it’s an important idea. I first learned the concept in a contemplative spirituality class I took in my early 20s. (Lest you think I was some precociously spiritual young adult, the memory I have about that class was while everyone else was deep in meditation, I was writing a grocery list in my head.)
Liminal space is that place between where you have been and where you are going - whether it be a physical space, a state of mind, or the space of time between activities or roles. The author and theologian Richard Rohr describes liminal space as “an inner state and sometimes an outer situation where we can begin to think and act in new ways.”
Amy described liminal space without calling it that: “Trying to think of my days as a series of transitions could help me be intentional about re-setting myself when I’m clearing my head.” Exactly!
We can think of liminal space as a commute - physically, mentally, emotionally - from the previous experience to the new experience. And with Covid, we are moving from a previous experience to a new one, but we aren’t there yet. We are squarely in the liminality of this transition. It is ambiguous and disorienting.
Once we notice these spaces - in our days and in the stages of our lives - we can feel empowered by them rather than overwhelmed by them. This is the opportunity we have now, in this inter-Covid time.
When we can acknowledge this liminal space consciously, we can anchor the experience in our body and mind so that it both amplifies the benefit in the moment and makes it easier to return to that inner space of transition when we need it again. Whoa, that was a long sentence! Let me say it another way: making time for intentional liminal space in our daily life allows us to practice noticing and acknowledging when we are in transition, and when we need to be in transition. And then, we can add it to our daily routines.
We can make our own emotional and mental commutes - not only between home and work, as Amy was talking about, but also between our pandemic-life routines and our post-pandemic-life (or at least some version of what comes after the pandemic) routines.
To help her manage the “liminal space” of her Monday transitions, Amy and I explored some quick exercises based on the Polyvagal Theory of the autonomic nervous system that can be done in a matter of minutes. They help to identify and anchor awareness of mood shifts. (The Polyvagal Theory explains how our nervous system tracks cues of safety and danger, in order to keep us safe and connected.) At our practice, we teach clients about their nervous system and how to help themselves feel calmer and more grounded in sessions. I’ll add some of these exercises to a different blog post. For right now, let’s talk about things you already know how to do, that when done with intention can provide this needed space in a stressful life.
Ways to Create Liminal Space
My mind, it turns out, appreciates order and structure, and it has come up with “The Five ‘R’s of Solid Ground” for right now. Done with a few mindful breaths, these actions can offer support for your “mental commute” - whether it be during a hectic day, or over the liminal time of these next few months.
Routines and rituals - Do the basics, every day. Sleep, hydration, balanced meals and snacks, movement.
Rest on values and beliefs - your priorities, your worldview, your faith and beliefs - these are the underpinnings of our lives, but even more so now.
Relationships - talk to at least one person who helps you feel safe, sane and connected.
Do the next Right Thing - be in the present moment, right now - what is needed? What am I being called to do? Having a sense of purpose can provide some much needed psychological grounding right now.
Take time to Relax and Restore “R&R”, intentionally. Many of our clients are in cohort of people who have less time during this pandemic, rather than more.
Finally, perspective. For 5 minutes a day, do something or read something that helps you gain a broader perspective. Or simply rest and reflect: follow your breath, and just notice yourself being breathed. You are here, now. You are safe. You are connected - even if you are physically alone right now.
Liminal Spaces are touchpoints in our day and in our lives and we need them. We need them to thrive.
*The names and a lot of the details have been changed, but this reflects the kind of work that my associates and I do with clients.
